Questions of the universe.

[ian]

"Bulldog with a Shitsu and call it a Bullshit"

That was paraphrasing Dumb and Dumber. So I quoted another line from Dumb and Dumber.

[2dr]

Never seen it.

“Thank you for explaining.”

Do you get that reference?

[ian]

Why has the appliance brand 'SMEG' not introduced a Red Dwarf Talky Toaster?

It would say classic talky phrases each time you started and finished toast, and would have a setting that you could adjust for how often you'd like it to remind you to eat toast.

On 3 sides it would be a perfect representation of Talky Toaster and on the 4th in embossed chrome letters feature phrase:
"What the
SMEG
is howdy doodly do!"


Why is this something I can not purchase?

[2dr]

Because you clearly have better taste than those who could make it happen but are too woke to think of it.

[ian]

My next questions are for people telling me they 'rate' something.

What do you rate it?
Do you rate it highly? Poorly?

Saying you rate something and then not finishing your sentence is incredibly fucking vague, and I have no idea if it's a good or bad thing if you don't specify what your actual rating is...

[Dr. Zoidberg]

^ I rate that post.

[ian]

Why does Germany not have a drone based breakfast delivery service called the Luftwaffle?

[2dr]

It should be Luft Waffles!

[ian]

How can I be more active the past 2 weeks and do a bunch of bending and lifting and stretching and cleaning and be completely fine, then today fuck my back royally by bending down to get a small packet of spring rolls from the freezer?

So much pain instantly that I ended up on the floor for 5 minutes. Not so much as a twinge or hint of any sort of problem at all until the point I pick up a 175 gram box from the freezer drawer...

How?

[2dr]

Something to do with time dilation?

[ian]

No sir, I've just been jabbing it too hard!

[ian]

If I had a rapid firing gun that shot Kinder Surprise eggs and lawn darts, would that be allowed in the US of A?

it IS a gun, so I figure it would be welcome with open arms, but Kinder eggs and lawn darts are dangerous so I'm concerned about the legality of my invention.

[2dr]

Get the pro and nay groups to fight it out using your phone invention. See who wins.

[ian]

What kind of batshit insane mental case was cooking sausages at 4:45 this morning?

I went outside for a smoke and I could smell distinct sausages being cooked.
The fact I could smell them indicates to me that they were barbequing them, as if they were in the kitchen with a pan the smell wouldn't have been as potent...

Lunatic!

[2dr]

Perhaps they were roasting the corpses of their vanquished foes! But I also have an important question.

Given that the universe is infinite, and that time may also be infinite, would you like some toast?

[ian]

Yes, I would like some toast! But I'm not getting up.

[2dr]

Perhaps some bread for you sausages?