US Politics Thread

[Dr. Zoidberg]

[Bandit]

Jesus fucking christ

100% voting for a Canseco and Marianne Williamson ticket.

[pixel]

Shit, that sounds like an awesome 90s action movie come to life. Jose Conseco and a mysterious woman are the only ones who can save a post-apocalyptic United States in the year 2020.

I'm down with everything except the medically induced comas. I've seen Total Recall.

[pixel]

[Bandit]

Vice President Williamson will beat Cotton in a landslide victory, after two terms of President Canseco. He will be called the greatest President and replace George Washington on the quarter and dollar bill because now Washington will look like a wooden toothed loser who never hit 460 home runs.

[Dr. Zoidberg]

[Ocelot]

....that makes me like Tom Petty a little more.

[Dr. Zoidberg]

[Bandit]

The campaign ads have started. This one is going to be ugly.

[Bandit]

Really you only need one with Klobuchar.

[pixel]

Really you only need one with Klobuchar.

And with two Klobbies, you could take the White House ... by force.

[Bandit]

Her campaign rally song

[Bandit]

[ian]

So can all you Americans do us a favour?
Like I know your whole country is falling to pieces right now.
But the rest of the world NEEDS you.
Please re-elect Trump.

Having Trump in office makes every other country in the entire world (including North Korea and China) realise that we don’t have it so bad with our governments.

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t ask such a question of an entire nation.

But the whole world has gone to hell, and Having Trump in office does make our non American lives just that little bit more tolerable.

Without Trump we’d have to question our own, slightly less incompetent governments, and that’s not something the modern world is ready to deal with just yet.

In 2024, we’ll let you vote for and invade anyone you want, and stand by you for saving the entire world.

Please.
-Every non American in the entire known universe.

[OrangeRibbon]

So can all you Americans do us a favour?
Like I know your whole country is falling to pieces right now.
But the rest of the world NEEDS you.
Please re-elect Trump.

Having Trump in office makes every other country in the entire world (including North Korea and China) realise that we don’t have it so bad with our governments.

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t ask such a question of an entire nation.

But the whole world has gone to hell, and Having Trump in office does make our non American lives just that little bit more tolerable.

Without Trump we’d have to question our own, slightly less incompetent governments, and that’s not something the modern world is ready to deal with just yet.

In 2024, we’ll let you vote for and invade anyone you want, and stand by you for saving the entire world.

Please.
-Every non American in the entire known universe.

you drunk?

[ian]

I wish.
When I’m drunk I care about shit less.

When the world is so fucked I lose the will to drink constantly, there’s a problem.

But watching the world burn is a little better when you see that people have it worse.

[Skynet]

So can all you Americans do us a favour?
Like I know your whole country is falling to pieces right now.
But the rest of the world NEEDS you.
Please re-elect Trump.

Having Trump in office makes every other country in the entire world (including North Korea and China) realise that we don’t have it so bad with our governments.

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t ask such a question of an entire nation.

But the whole world has gone to hell, and Having Trump in office does make our non American lives just that little bit more tolerable.

Without Trump we’d have to question our own, slightly less incompetent governments, and that’s not something the modern world is ready to deal with just yet.

In 2024, we’ll let you vote for and invade anyone you want, and stand by you for saving the entire world.

Please.
-Every non American in the entire known universe.

you drunk?

Drunk ian would probably see the situation for what it is and not agree with sober ian.

No one needs Trump term 2 and anyone who thinks otherwise clearly hasn't been paying attention.

[Bandit]

How about we compromise and elect Kanye. He's an egomaniac prone to doing embarrassing shit, but he's harmless.

[ian]

How about we compromise and elect Kanye. He's an egomaniac prone to doing embarrassing shit, but he's harmless.

Maybe as a governor or congressman. But I don't think he's quite incompetent enough for a president to make the world a better place/America worse.

Kanye does do some really batshit stuff from time to time, so if you can vote for him, and can't stand Trump, I suppose I'll allow it.

[Bandit]

What if after all of the hype surrounding "it will be historic when Biden selects a woman of color" he goes with white male CIA Pete.