I've given up smoking!

[ian]

Except for after meals and after MacGyver!

[Dr. Zoidberg]

[Calavera]

Watch as he saves your life with a swiss army knife
How'd he do that?
This is the MacGyver show!

[ian]

it's now been 2 days since I've had a smoke. Longest I've been without one in a long time.

I've also only had one meal. I am too lazy to get smokes, so have become a non smoker just like that..

[ian]

the trick to quitting smoking is whenever you feel like a smoke, just tell yourself that you can't be bothered going to the shops. It's working for drinking and junk food too.
It's my addictions vs how much I don't care anymore. My computer turned off tonight for some reason.. can't be assed to investigate.
it's very quiet in here without it.

[ian]

They said quitting smoking would improve health and sense of taste and smell. The only changes are:
I'm coughing a lot more flem and shit. Like a lot more coughing, I've never coughed this much before.
I'm sneezing more just out of nowhere.
Milk tastes creamier. Skim milk tastes like full, and full cream tastes like some sort of super milk.
Pantene Classic Clean Shampoo now smells like absolute shit.
The air in my area is atrocious with all the wood fires. All I can smell outside now is a different kind of smoke.

Aside from those things, there has been no other noticeable changes in mood, health, taste or smell.

Stopping drinking is harder than smoking though. Because CHRIST I want a drink.. I could take a smoke and stop after one.. I couldn't stop after one drink.

[ian]

Update time.
I cracked tonight after a few completely clean weeks of non smokes, the stress of trying to stop drinking got to me and I rolled a small smoke from empty packet flakes from Marlboro reds.
Jesus it tasted bad, but I did stop stressing.
All in all quitting smoking is becoming worse and and worse though.

Between my house and the shops, there are 2 of those trees that smell like cum, and one of those bushes that smell like piss when wet, those plants were fucking disgusting as a smoker, and now they are basically vomit inducing in a 20 Metre radius.

My fingers have lost the brown patches, and not emptying ashtrays and going out in the cold has been nice.

Buuuuut. My mood is getting snappier. I’m more inclined to flip my shit at smaller stuff.
For example, I Bent my iPhone when it was lagging slightly. Usually I would have gone urgh, reset it and done something else if it persisted.
NOPE! took it in both hands and bent backwards till the screen cracked, and the back casing bent away, then I pelted it across the room and went to bed.

The coughing has gone down a Lot but the sneezing has remained the same, and I’m feeling more symptoms of asthma.

Not smoking has allowed me extra time of not needing to work, BUT the biggest problem...

Since I actively cut back in April... I have put on 30KG... taking me from “fat podger” (140) up to ‘I wash myself with a rag on a stick’ (170)

For reference, at my super fattest I was 198KG
When I went FUCK THAT, and joined the gym. and by the time I got to 100 I was horribly underweight so settled and maintained 130-140 ever since.

Ugh... drinking is the hard part and I’m cracking a lot more. But so far, it’s hard to know which is the worst of all my vices..

[Bandit]

there are 2 of those trees that smell like cum

Wait, what? Are people climbing them to jerk off?

[ian]

there are 2 of those trees that smell like cum

Wait, what? Are people climbing them to jerk off?

No.. that’s just what the trees smell like. They LEGIT SMELL LIKE CUM.
I have forgotten what they are called, but I’ve dealt with them a few times over the years.
I stopped mowing the lawn for some friends once because they had one in the front yard of their rented house..

If you EVER come across one of these trees, you’ll fucking know it...

[Dr. Zoidberg]

I've never smelled a jizz tree, but a quick search brings us this:

Ornamental Pear (Callery Pear in the US)



Here’s Why the Trees on Your Street Smell Like Semen

The answer is trees. That cummy smell comes from a flowering deciduous tree called Pyrus calleryana, better known in Australia as the ornamental pear, or the callery pear in the US. Originating from China, they became the urban designer's tree of choice in the 1950s because they're small, neat, and produce cute white flowers. Ornamental pears now line city streets around the globe, although they've fallen out of fashion in Australia and the US because they tend to self-germinate in vacant blocks—and as mentioned—the jizz thing.

So what's with the smell? Basically they smell like that to attract insects. "Any time plants emit fragrances, it's typically to attract pollinators, and that's what the pear is doing as well," explained John Murgel, a horticulturist in Denver. "We normally associate sweet smells with trying to attract bees, but a lot of plants all over the world use really terrible smells in order to attract beetles and flies as pollinators."

In the world of chemistry these smells are known as "volatile amines," which basically mean they're molecularly similar to ammonia. In the case of the ornamental pear, what you're smelling is trimethylamine and dimethylamine, both of which smell like ammonia. And the twist in the story is that there's ammonia in semen.

[ian]

Ok they’re that then. Why haven’t we wiped them out.
As ornamental pears, they’re pretty useles.