WWE Thread (Spoilers)

[Bandit]

She looks like a Harry Potter villain.

[Bandit]

[Ocelot]

I decided to watch Crown Jewel for the fuck of it. Shamelessly torrented it because fuck if i'm giving Vince any of my money.
I'll be skipping the matches IDGAF about.
I'm in a bad mood.

EDGE/ROLLINS - Why the fuck are they opening with a HITC match? Ridiculous. Massive crowd though, probably because of all the blood money being pandered around BUT ANYWAY!!!!! The red HITC is kinda nifty looking. Rollins boinks off the cell in a shitty looking spot. First match in and they're also pulling out the gimmicks. And a finisher kickout. Oh good lord. I'm glad the female referee is fully covered so no one is offended and Vince doesn't get any more of that good Saudi oil money. I sure am glad Edge isn't dead or at least bleeding after having an iron pipe shoved in his eye! This match *really* needs a bladejob. Rollins takes a sickass bump off the turnbuckle, into the cell, and through the table. Oww. Whenever the fucking announcer says THATS GONNA DO IT you know the motherfucker is gonna kick out and it's annoying as FUCK. Way, way too many gimmicks in this match. The ring is literally filled with junk. Gotta say, I'm feeling this ending sequence with the chain. Match had a lot of problems but Edge is a superworker that could carry my broken-legged crippled ass to a good match so I'll go ***

Skipping forward a bit cuz idgaf about the next match or this goofy fucking tag match and I'm skipping this women's match because it's fucking bullshit that they have to wear sweaters and goofy pants so as not to offend Vince's blood money investors.

GOLDBERG/LASHLEY - Lashley's theme is pretty rad. Goldberg has HARDWAY JUICE and I'm waiting for the ER techs to stop the match so they can fix his BOO BOO. Been all Lashley so far and I don't mind. That missed stair spot was kinda goofy and this whole match has been kinda goofy. Love how the camera cut away before the referee could make his count. This match was slow and goofy. *

BALOR/WOODS - I want to give this match ten stars for Michael Cole mentioning the first King of the Ring winner being Don Muraco but I will resist the urge. I'm digging the mat wrestling here. Bless Xavier Woods, he's trying here but Balor is just head and shoulders above him as a worker and is carrying this thing flawlessly. Balor is a fucking superworker, carrying this match and it's so refreshing to see a simple wrestling match from a WWE PPV without any silly fucking storyline or gimmick or bullshit. Xavier wins with a great combo. Just a great little wrestling match. Both men brought it and this put a smile on my face. Exceeded my expectations so I'll go ***1/2

Drew McIntyre is boring so skipping this one. Skipping the women's match for the same reasons as the one above.

LESNAR/REIGNS - This is the whole reason I'm watching this show. Oooh, Brock got a POTATO from Reigns! I sure am glad the camera made sure to catch Reigns acknowledging that it was time to do his dive spot! Reigns bonks his head after missing a spear and ok, that was kinda nifty. Fuckery finish. Disappointing. DUD

Two good matches and a giant waste of fucking time otherwise.

[Dr. Zoidberg]

Sounds like you loved it, Ocelot. An exciting Saudi show like it always is.

[Dr. Zoidberg]

[Bandit]

Vince cares more about boxing titles than his own.

And I doubt Tyson Fury even noticed because he doesn't take himself that seriously.

[Dr. Zoidberg]

Nobody would have noticed.

You would think Vince would have bigger things to worry about, like how shitty the shows are.

[Bandit]

Things got heated backstage at Smackdown.

We are told the issue arose after Charlotte Flair was said to have voiced concerns before WWE went on the air, concerned about the Championship Exchange segment that featured Becky trading her Smackdown Women's Championship belt for Flair's Raw Women's Championship belt. We are told by several who were privy to the situation that Flair was voicing that she didn't want to look weak nor did her she want her title reign to look weak. Despite those concerns, the segment went on as planned.

During the segment, there was a moment where Flair was to hand the belt to Becky but instead pulled it away and threw the belt on the mat, which was not the way that segment was expected to go. At that point, Sonya Deville demanded Flair retrieve the belt and hand it to her, which Flair did. Deville then asked for Becky's title but instead Lynch threw her title belt and Flair, which was also not part of the plan, PWInsider.com is told.

At that point, Flair did mic work to set up Sasha Banks coming out, which put the segment back on track with Lynch leaving after teasing a potential Survivor Series showdown with one of them.

However, after Flair and Banks had their physical confrontation, Flair went to the back. We are told at that point, there was a confrontation over Flair allegedly disrespecting Lynch during the segment and there were words between the two. We are told that the situation was heated but did not get physical.

Ocelot what does Rick Martel say?

[Dr. Zoidberg]

If Charlotte appears in the crowd on Dynamite, does that make it a work or a shoot? Or a woot? Or a shork?

[Ocelot]

"ITS A WIZZORK!"

[Hawq]

that ppv left me wanting more, as in more actual good content instead of what we got. That hiac was so lacking that other than rollins bouncing off the cell then falling through a table it may as well have just been a regular hardcore (or whatever wwe calls the tame version these days) match or just a tlc, at first I wonndered why they were kicking off with it then all became depressingly clear which set the stage for the rest of the show, sure there were thje odd mildly entertaining bits but dont ask me to name them as I honestly couldnt remember them now. Mostly bland, predictable & forgetable really

[Bandit]

If Charlotte appears in the crowd on Dynamite, does that make it a work or a shoot? Or a woot? Or a shork?

It would be funny if she was like Sable on that one Nitro and Excalibur has to call her Ashley Fleihr and she does nothing but wave once.

[Dr. Zoidberg]

[Bandit]

The wizzork continues.

[Bandit]

[Dr. Zoidberg]

She also tried hocking a loogie at Vince but the spit went straight down because women can't spit properly.

[Ocelot]

Does that mean Charlotte is used to swallowing?

Also this internet work is getting tiresome.

[Dr. Zoidberg]

That was an ugly bump Shirai took. Nasty.



No colour when there's colour.

[Bandit]

[Dr. Zoidberg]

Has anyone started NXT Botches on Twitter yet?