Claws of Justice

[Roofus]

INT. POLICE STATION - DAY

Officer ROOFUS, a seasoned American detective, stands near a whiteboard covered in crime scene photos. CONSTABLE IAN, a young and eager Australian officer, approaches him.

ROOFUS
Alright, Ian, we've got a tough one here. The victim is a wealthy businessman found dead in his mansion. Signs point to foul play.

IAN
Crikey, Roofus! How can we crack this case?

Roofus ponders for a moment before a lobster, DR. ZOIDBERG, scuttles into the room, wearing a lab coat.

ZOIDBERG
Did someone say foul play? Zoidberg, at your service!

Roofus and Ian exchange bemused glances.

ROOFUS
Zoidberg, glad you could join us. We need your expertise on this one.

INT. MANSION - FOYER - DAY

Roofus, Ian, and Dr. Zoidberg stand before the lifeless body of the victim, MR. JONES, sprawled on the grand staircase. The room is filled with tension.

IAN
(offering gloves to Dr. Zoidberg)
You might need these, Doc.

ZOIDBERG
(wearing gloves, his claws click)
Thank you, my good chap. Now, let's take a closer look at this unfortunate soul.

Zoidberg inspects the body, his lobster eyes darting around.

ZOIDBERG
(defiantly)
The cause of death is obvious, of course! This poor fellow was strangled.

ROOFUS
(confused)
But Zoidberg, the marks around his neck appear to be... lobster-sized.

ZOIDBERG
(excited)
Exactly! And only one clawed creature has the strength to do that—another lobster!

IAN
(raising an eyebrow)
Are you suggesting there's a lobster assassin on the loose?

ZOIDBERG
(defiantly)
Precisely! Now, let us follow the trail of evidence and bring this shellfish criminal to justice!

EXT. MANSION - BACKYARD - DAY

Roofus, Ian, and Zoidberg comb the lush garden, searching for clues. Zoidberg, now wearing a tiny detective hat, inspects the ground.

ZOIDBERG
(triumphantly)
Ah-ha! Look at these peculiar claw marks. They lead towards the neighbor's house.

INT. NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

The trio barges into the neighbor's house, surprising MRS. WILSON, an elderly lady.

MRS. WILSON
(startled)
What on earth is happening?!

ROOFUS
Calm down, ma'am. We're conducting an investigation. Have you noticed anything unusual lately?

MRS. WILSON
(stuttering)
Well, there was that strange lobster delivery last week, but I just thought it was for my pet lobster, Pinchy.

Zoidberg glances at Mrs. Wilson's aquarium, where a lobster named PINCHY waves its claws.

ZOIDBERG
(smirking)
Aha! A likely accomplice. We're getting closer.

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY

Roofus, Ian, and Zoidberg sit across from a suspicious-looking man, CALAVERA.

ROOFUS
Calavera, we know about your secret lobster operation. We have evidence linking you to the murder of Mr. Jones.

IAN
(nervously)
Are you working with Pinchy to carry out these crimes?

CALAVERA
(defiantly)
You've got nothing on me! Pinchy is just a harmless pet. You can't prove anything!

Zoidberg raises a claw, interrupting the tense moment.

ZOIDBERG
(ominously)
Actually, we can. The coroner discovered some of Mr. Jones' blood on Pinchy's tank.

Calavera's eyes widen as the realization sets in.

CALAVERA
(frustrated)
Fine, I did it! I strangled Mr. Jones. But it was for a good cause! He ruined my family's life with his corrupt business dealings.

ROOFUS
(sighs)
Justice will be served, Calavera. Take him away.

As the officers escort Calavera out, Zoidberg scuttles to the side, addressing the audience.

ZOIDBERG
(excitedly)
Another case solved by the Claws of Justice! Time for a celebratory dip in the ocean.

Zoidberg clacks his claws together in satisfaction, while Roofus and Ian exchange amused looks.

FADE OUT.

[ian]

That Zoidberg is a loose cannon!
But DAMMIT, he gets results!